I agree 100% about (white) patriarchal programming being a huge part of the problem. I also kept thinking of the parallel phenomenon where men rely on women for their social and emotional connections yet us more enlightened (read older / experienced) women are unwilling to do the physical and emotional labor for them anymore. I sometimes feel that the older humans that are attracted to and pair up with significantly younger partners are showcasing their unwillingness to grow as humans.
I’m so creeped out by this, and as I am just past my mid thirties with kids, my eyes are wide open to how much predatory behaviour I witnessed towards myself and my peers growing up. I’m genuinely terrified for my children 😭
Giving words to my thoughts on this is harder than expected. Primarily, I find the arrangement cynical b/c it reduces relationships to their transactional nature. "What is HE getting out of it? What is SHE getting out of it?" I think that cynicism is a highly contagious disease that allows people to irresponsibly perpetuate bad ideas bc they pose as truth. Under cover of "just telling it like it is," they pretend it's biology while glossing over the reasons survival has been based on access to resources and who controls them. Therefore, the non-cynical view is that if she weren't trained to be consumed, she might make very different choices.
I agree 100% about (white) patriarchal programming being a huge part of the problem. I also kept thinking of the parallel phenomenon where men rely on women for their social and emotional connections yet us more enlightened (read older / experienced) women are unwilling to do the physical and emotional labor for them anymore. I sometimes feel that the older humans that are attracted to and pair up with significantly younger partners are showcasing their unwillingness to grow as humans.
Such an interesting and valid point!
I’m so creeped out by this, and as I am just past my mid thirties with kids, my eyes are wide open to how much predatory behaviour I witnessed towards myself and my peers growing up. I’m genuinely terrified for my children 😭
Me too. And I’m so scared for what my son will learn outside of my view about women.
Completely! Same here. I know you're a WAIMer too, so if you ever decide to create a course on something like this I'll be first in line to buy :)
Giving words to my thoughts on this is harder than expected. Primarily, I find the arrangement cynical b/c it reduces relationships to their transactional nature. "What is HE getting out of it? What is SHE getting out of it?" I think that cynicism is a highly contagious disease that allows people to irresponsibly perpetuate bad ideas bc they pose as truth. Under cover of "just telling it like it is," they pretend it's biology while glossing over the reasons survival has been based on access to resources and who controls them. Therefore, the non-cynical view is that if she weren't trained to be consumed, she might make very different choices.
I think you did a fine job of communicating your thoughts and I especially love that last line!
Well written. Thank you.