My face tells a story.
Over decades, it has laughed, cried, and screamed. It has expressed joy, worry, and fear. Those moments have left their mark.
Each wrinkle and gray hair was hard won—divorce, deaths of loved ones, losing $100,000 on a house, rebuilding from a 520 credit score, recessions and inflation, a miscarriage, cross-country and interstate moves (sooo many moves), pregnancy and childbirth, career changes, business growth and stagnation, and now perimenopause.
My story is still being written, and my face reflects the thoughts and feelings informing this chapter.
How do I stay “relevant” in a fast-moving social media landscape filled with young, beautiful competitors?
Will anyone want to work with a coach as old as me?
Do I have enough time and energy to build my business to where I want it to be?
Do I have enough time left to sock away enough money (*any money*) for retirement?
Will I ever be able to retire?
And the biggie today:
How the hell am I supposed to do all the things necessary to make that money while raising a young child and while dealing with near-constant exhaustion, brain fog, mood swings, and other sundry symptoms of perimenopause?
This face also tells a story of resistance.
It hasn’t been injected or lifted or otherwise modified to appear “more youthful.” It hasn’t been denied joy nor has it been forced to swallow tears (well, not lately). And it sits atop a body that hasn’t been starved or pushed beyond its limits to fit into “straight-size” clothing.
This is a face that says, “take me as I am.”
In a world that demands women conform to it (and not the other way around), it’s a radical act to unapologetically age in public.
That’s not to say it’s easy. Far from it.
The feeling of becoming invisible is real, bringing with it waves of relief, but also grief and righteous rage.
The white supremacist, capitalist patriarchal air we breathe doesn’t disappear, and neither do the insecurities it perpetuates.
There’s also anxiety and sadness (aka, the “will I ever be able to retire” storyline).
And the uncomfortable—even painful—reminders that your body can no longer function as well as it once did.
But I wouldn’t trade my face, my body, my story, my age for anything.
They are what make me who I am.
And who I am is a fierce fighter for those who have less privilege than me (because I was born on at least second base), a connector and community builder who thrives on creating spaces where others feel seen, and a badass coach for business owners who also want to destroy toxic capitalism.
These are the thoughts swirling as I look at that photo, snapped on a whim this morning.
After resisting the urge to delete it because I “look old,” I remembered that the soul inside this body is unchanged. She was there when I was 5, 15, 25, and she remains as I approach 50. The body she occupies has changed, but she’s still there—and she deserves love.
Whether you’re a chapter or a few behind me, or a wise crone already a chapter ahead, may this be a gentle reminder that your face also tells a story to appreciate. And that the soul staring out from your eyes is worthy of your love.
REMINDER: FEMINIST FOUNDERS AUDIO SERIES KICKS OFF MONDAY
Between Aug. 19th and Sept. 19th, I’ll be dropping exclusive audio interviews with 20 incredible thought leaders (including me!) who are challenging the status quo and redefining success on their own terms.
From decolonization to community and redefining business to using Substack—these conversations are all about building a life and business that feel good and align with your values.
This event includes the incredible voices of Sarah Fay, Dacy Gillespie, Desireé B Stephens, Kelsey Blackwell, Deepshikha Sairam, Erica Vogel, Erica Courdae, Ixchel Lunar, Ellie Kime, Jo-Ann Finkelstein PhD, Josie Cox, Caroline J. Sumlin | Author, The Liberation Collective and a few other non-Substackers.
🔒 The series is available exclusively to paid subscribers of Feminist Founders newsletter via a private podcast feed. For just $5/month or $50/year, you can get access to all 20 interviews (plus future content). The price goes up next week, so lock in your spot now!
PS: If you’re already a paid subscriber, you’ll be receiving information on how to access the series on Monday!
I love this so much and what a gorgeous story behind your gorgeous face.